19 Weeks

{ Friday, May 25, 2012 }
Now that I'm solidly in my second trimester, things are finally starting to feel real. My biggest fear with having a second child was not how hard it would be to take care of two kids, but taking care of just one while experiencing the same morning sickness I had when I was pregnant with the bean. I was terrified of it, but mercifully it was not as bad. I definitely did feel sick and worn out, but I was able to work through it and the bean and I made it through. I kept obsessively checking my journal from when I was pregnant with the bean to see when the morning sickness got better. It was 16 weeks with the bean and a little bit earlier this time-probably 14 weeks.  Thank goodness we are through that part and I'm feeling better and getting my energy back.  There were a rough couple weeks in there were we were in pure survival mode, I imagine we'll be familiar with that mode again in a few short months!

Now I'm in that middle part of pregnancy where you sometimes forget that you're pregnant until you catch yourself in the mirror. Well, also this time around I've been accidentally overdoing it and being reminded that I'm pregnant by my body which has insisted I take it easy.  When I was pregnant with the bean, I was working on my feet all day so I worried that I wouldn't be getting as much exercise this time.  Of course, I completely underestimated how physical taking care of a toddler is.

Now that I'm able to feel this peanut moving around, it's starting to become more real. Honestly, it's been pretty difficult to imagine having a second child who is different from our first. I know that sounds strange, but I guess the only experience I have to base having a child on is the bean, so that's what I think of when I think of having another baby. I have to keep reminding myself that this child will have his or her own personality and likes and dislikes. It's amazing, but pretty hard to picture at this point.

Because there were some concerns during my pregnancy with the bean, we had several ultrasounds throughout the pregnancy and were able to find out that she was a she at 16 weeks. This time, things look fine and we hopefully won't need those ultrasounds, so it's been a long time since we had a peek at this peanut. In just a couple days, we'll have our level II ultrasounds and get to check this little one out and check that everything looks OK.  (We'll also find out the gender).

We've been taking belly pictures every week or so and I've been comparing them to the pictures from when I was pregnant with the bean. I know my belly is supposed to pop out sooner, but everything looks pretty similar up to this point. I've been waiting to post pictures here until there was something to show you!

Here I am this time around at 6 weeks

And 18 weeks
And this is 19 weeks with the bean, pretty similar, right?

Bean update

{ Wednesday, May 23, 2012 }
Now that our bean is on the verge of turning three, I'm finding parenting to be much more challenging.  Of course, this is the "terrible twos" cliche, and I think for me its mostly about trying to adjust to this ever changing little girl.  I know the first year of parenting, things change rapidly and it was tough, but we were able to adjust to give her what she needed, even as it was constantly changing.  Then, things settled down a bit and the changes started coming a bit further apart, and I think I've just stopped expecting them.

Or perhaps I'm just expecting too much out of our bean.  Somedays she puts on her own shoes, cleans up her own toys and patiently stands still while I brush her teeth.  Other days, there's chaos and things being thrown at me and straight up refusal to do things that I know she's capable of and I'm just . . . confused.  Knowing that there are lines that need to be drawn but wondering where to draw them and wondering how much consistency there should be.  Yesterday, it was perfectly acceptable for me to cut her waffle for her, but today doing so results in screaming and crying.  Its hard to keep up.  As always, we are trying to make our way and figure this all out together.  Its a rollercoaster for sure.  Three years old is going to be exciting and maybe a bit scary, but hopefully it'll be really fun too.

At this age, the bean still loves music and dancing.  Its interesting to me that this has seemed to be a constant throughout her short life so far--she's always been calmed my music and singing and started singing and dancing around herself as soon as she was able to.  She now attends a weekly music class that she loves and enjoys having impromptu dancing sessions in our living room.  She's also started making up her own songs about things that are happening around her.  Who knows if this will continue to be an interest of hers, but its so fun to watch it develop and to encourage it for now!

The bean is starting to learn the days of the week and I've taught her that Saturday means "no work, no school and Mommy stays home all day!' which is so exciting for her.  My work days are typically at the end of the week, so Saturday is truly a day off for all of us and she gets so excited for the boy to be home, because that always means playing all day (sadly, there are a lot more chores to be done on the days that I stay home with her).

A few months ago we finally gave in and got the bean her first haircut.  We were resisting the upkeep that comes with bangs, but finally decided that something needed to be done to keep all that hair out of her face and we now wish we had done it sooner.  I love the bangs!  (In these pictures, I see she's due for another trim--all that upkeep!)

This update is so very random, but I'm trying to quickly get all these things down while I have a minute to blog.  Let's see . . . the bean is very excited about becoming a big sister.  I'm almost wishing we had waiting a bit longer to tell her because its so hard for her to wait.  We talk all the time about how she's going to help change the baby's diapers and hold it and feed it.  She's even told me that I'll get a turn holding the baby too--how lucky am I?