Hi-Ho Hi-Ho

Since before the bean was born, we've struggled with the question of whether or not I'd go back to work. The boy and I considered several different possibilities that would allow us to keep our bean out of daycare, but finally decided that the only thing that would work for us would be for me to stay home, or work part-time. We were still weighing the pros and cons when the bean arrived and I admit that I did a little Scarlett O'Hara every time the topic came up--I put the decision off for another day.

As my maternity leave came to an end, I finally got up the nerve to talk to my boss and we arranged for my job to be outsourced back to me on a part-time basis. I had fully expected that this would not be an option and that I would end up resigning outright, so I was pleasantly surprised, but surprised nonetheless that I would be going back to work. I consider myself very fortunate to have this opportunity and to have had as long of a maternity leave as I did, but I think it must be hard to go back to work whether you're home for 6 weeks or 6 years. I've been dreading the day that I'd go back, even though I love the work that I do and I'm looking forward to earning a paycheck again.

The dread has been compounded by the question of childcare. We had planned to hire a nanny to come to our house to care for the bean. Our nanny story goes like this: after screening applicants for schedule conflicts and moral objections to our same-sex status, we scheduled interviews. After no shows and last minute cancellations, we interviewed two women. We chose one to come back while we were both home to care for the bean for a few hours. It didn't work out. Just a tip to potential nannies--when a mother of the child you are caring for says, "Oh my god, she's choking!" The best course of action would be to immediately stop whatever you are doing that is choking the child. Continuing on until the child vomits while the mothers try to wrestle the baby from your arms will get you a, "Thanks for your time, sorry it didn't work out."

Thankfully, the boy's mother has volunteered to help out for the next couple weeks. After that, the boy will have some leave from work and will be on bean duty. And then, she'll go to daycare. Before the bean was born, we had picked a daycare that we love and they still have an opening, thankfully.

My first day of work was yesterday. The boy tells me the first few hours went smoothly, until the bean decided she wouldn't settle for substitutes and wanted to nurse to sleep. Mother-in-law and the boy were able to finally get her to nap for a bit (after some serious crying) and I came home to a very sleepy, but otherwise happy, bean. Me? I cried in the car to and from work.

Five Months

At five months, the bean:

• Is really starting to babble more. 'M' is her favorite consonant and she loves to say, "mmmm." "mom", "ma," and "mama."
• Is able to sit independently for a couple minutes at a time before she topples over.
• Is much more interested in what we have in our hands than in any of her toys.
• Loves to pet the cat, even though she doesn't yet know the difference between petting and hair pulling.
• STILL loves Itsy, Bitsy Spider. If she's crying and I can't get to her right away, I can sing this song and almost always get a smile. Other songs just won't do.
• May or may not be teething, but is definitely enjoying gnawing on all her teethers.
• Enjoys putting her left foot in her mouth.

Thankful

This year, as always, I am so thankful to have the boy in my life. I am so very fortunate to be able to spend my life with someone so loving, understanding and supportive.

I'm thankful that, when one of the relatives we planned to spend the weekend with came down with the flu, it was a mild case. I'm thankful that, when we decided to change our plans at the last minute so as to not expose the bean to said flu, family friends were willing to let us crash their thanksgiving dinner.

Most of all, I am so very thankful to have a happy and healthy little bean. Every day I am struck with what a huge responsibility we have to care for and educate this little person. I am so thankful for the opportunity and I promise to do the absolute best job I can.

Frantic Napping

Its the "oh my goodness, she's asleep in her crib, how quickly can I blog/clean the house/get dressed/get dinner prepped/get some rest" franticness.

So here's my blog post. Off to quickly (and quietly) clean the house!

How to Get a Baby to NOT Sleep

There have been several moments during the bean's short life where I've wished, for her sake, that we knew a little bit better what we were doing. I've never felt this as strongly as I do today.

Several weeks ago, shortly after transitioning her into her crib, the bean started waking up hourly during the night. We tried several things to extend her sleep, including angling her crib mattress in case she was having reflux that was waking her (propping up the head of the mattress is supposed to minimize reflux and also reduce the occurence of ear infections). Shortly after that, the bean began waking the moment we put her down in her crib--she would not sleep there for any length of time. At first it was just her nighttime sleep, but then she began refusing her crib for naps during the day as well. We began cosleeping fulltime at night and either cosleeping or holding her for naps during the day, because it was the only way any of us could get any rest.

There are definite advantages to cosleeping and we really love doing it, but the biggest disadvantage is that you must be in the bed when the baby is. At least, that's what it means for us, since we're too nervous to leave the bean alone for fear she'll wake up and roll her way onto the wood floor. This has left me stranded in the bed at 9pm on several occasions, waiting for the boy to come relieve me so I could brush my teeth and get ready for bed. The situation was getting frustrating for me because I could put the bean down on our bed without waking her, but the moment she was in her crib she was wide awake. I'm embarrassed to admit that this went on for weeks before it occured to me that the angled mattress may be causing the problem. We flattened out the mattress and guess who's sleeping in her crib for the longest nap she's had in weeks?

Seriously, we're fairly intelligent people, but there's a steep learning curve to this baby stuff!