Happy Birthday To Us!

Happy birthday to my love. May we celebrate many, many more happy birthdays together!

One year ago today

And it just keeps getting better. Happy anniversary, my love.

And not to gross you all out too much, but I, sadly, contracted a toe infection from my pedicure the day before our wedding which scarred my toenail. I just cut off the last of the deformed nail the other day--one year later. And that, my friends, is the last pedicure I will ever get. I'm not above suffering for beauty, but even I have my limits.

Birthday Couple

Thirty-three years ago today, my sweetie was celebrating birthday number two while all the way on the other side of the country, little old me was being born. We took our dear sweet time finding one another, but I am so thankful our paths did finally cross and so fortunate to have such a loving, supportive person in my life. I look forward to us sharing the next thirty-odd birthdays (and another thirty-odd after that, if I could be so greedy).

Happy 35th, Sweetie!

Valentine's Recap

I know I'm terribly late, but I'm very excited to share pictures of our valentine's dinner. Saturday, the sweetie headed off to the new place to work on the painting, while I stayed behind to work on packing and preparing dinner. After a hard day, the sweetie returned for our valentine's celebration (which will also be the last serious cooking I do before the move).

We started out with stuffed mushrooms, followed by a salad of spinach with apples, dried cherries and walnuts.


Dinner was mushroom, lentil, and wild rice timbales (they photographed all icky and brown, but tasted soo yummy!) along with mushroom gravy and sauted swiss chard.

For dessert, I made vegan molten chocolate lava cakes (made un-vegan with the addition of whipped cream). They were very good but, sadly, were not molten, as the gooey filling baked right into the cake so the effect was more like a very moist chocolate chip muffin. I'd love to try again and tweak the recipe a bit, but that will have to be an experiment for my new kitchen (the old one is currently full of boxes!).

Wedding Recap

Yay! I finally have proofs back from the photographer and I apologize in advance for posting so many. He did such an amazing job--I can't decide which ones are my favorites.

So, the weekend started on Thursday night when I picked my parents up from the airport. We got home late and just hung out for a little while before heading off to bed.

Friday morning, I dropped the boy off at the train (poor thing had to work) and worked on a little bit of wedding stuff until my Mom woke up. We hung out for a while and then Mom, Stepdad and I went out to run some errands (including picking up the chocolates that would be our favors). Later in the day, we were off to my (now) mother-in-law's house. On the way, I called the sweetie and we talked about everything that we had done to prepare. Up until that point, I was feeling really good about everything, but at one point in the conversation, I said, "Well, I think we're ready" and then the nerves set in. I guess since I no longer had any details to obsess over, I could start obsessing over being nervous.

We met up with my mother-in-law and sister-in-law and all got our nails done for the next day. (Well, all except for Stepdad, who found a place to have a beer while we were at the salon.) This was the first time our families were meeting and we were all a little nervous about how things would go, but everyone got along incredibly well. After the nail appointment, we picked up some pizza, the boy arrived from work and we all had dinner. After dinner, some family friends stopped by. It was nice to hang out with everyone and I'm glad my parents got the chance to meet so many people before the wedding.

Everyone was getting along so well that the boy and I were able to sneak off and the boy gave me a beautiful music box that plays Pachelbel Canon (which was playing as I walked into the ceremony) and a necklace to wear with my dress. I had purchased a necklace, but the night before I'd decided it was too big to wear and was going to forgo a necklace altogether. The sweetie rushed out during work on Friday to pick something up for me--I'm such a lucky girl! The sweetie's mother also gave me a handkerchief that her mother had made. She gave it to me and told me to use it for the wedding, then pass it down to our little girl. It was so touching and meant so much to me that she would consider giving me something like that.

My Mom, Stepdad, and I headed home where I was supposed to go right to bed, but Mom and I stayed up late chatting. Before I knew it, it was 11 o'clock and the sweetie was calling to order me to bed!

Of course, I couldn't sleep in Saturday morning. I was up at 5 and tried to convince myself to go back to sleep until 7:30, when Mom came it to tell me to get up. (I later learned that the sweetie had done the same thing--so cute!) We loaded up the car and headed to the town where the wedding was held. I kept playing through the day in my head trying to make sure I wasn't forgetting anything. Saturday morning I went over it with my Mom, tellling her everything that was going to happen and everything that we'd need. I kept thinking that we had everything covered and even my Mom was impressed that I was so organized (oh, we later learned how wrong we were!).

Mom, stepdad and I had a nice, relaxed breakfast and then went to check in to the hotel where the sweetie and I would be staying. We left stepdad there to watch TV and get dressed while we were off to the salon. I thought we might be pressed for time later in the day, so I made sure we arrived a little early in case they could take us early. They were able to start on our hair immediately when we walked in and I was so happy with how my hair came out! The stylist did exactly as I wanted (which is usually not how things work out for me) and everyone kept telling me how nice it looked. I had a makeup appointment immediately after my hair and here's where my plan to be early hit a snag. We were done with my hair early, but the makeup artist was late. Mom and I went to the cafe next door for something to drink while we waited (me in sweatpants and a tiara!) until finally, the makeup artist arrived and I got my makeup done and we were on our way.

We rushed back to the hotel and the photographer had already called to say he was heading over to the room. I sort of wish we had taken our time more, but we were both panicked and rushed to get dressed. Mom helped me throw all my many layers of undergarments on and then literally threw the dress on over my head. At some point during all of this, the flowers arrived, although I hadn't seen them and the photographer had started snapping pictures.


I had reminded myself many times to put my shoes on before the dress, since I couldn't reach my feet with it on, but of course I forgot. My Mom very graciously agreed to get on the floor and put my shoes on for me.

The boy was going to meet us at the hotel for a couple pictures before we all headed over to the the restaurant, but we had rushed so much that we were ready early. After all that excitement, we just sat around and waited (and laughed a lot about me trying to sit in a chair with my huge dress on!).


Finally, the boy arrived and waited in the hotel lobby for me to come in. We took some pictures of us seeing each other for the first time and me pinning the boutonniere on. The boy looked so handsome and I felt like such a lucky girl! (Still do, in fact.)



We then did what was maybe not the brightest thing. We went over to city hall in the town where we were married to take some pictures in the gazebo. I think it might have been about 20 degrees, but the sun was out and it looked so pretty! We ran to the gazebo, stood there for a few seconds and then ran back to the car. We were both shivering so much, I'm not sure how we managed to smile for pictures, but they turned out so good.


Then on to the restaurant, where we double checked the room where the ceremony would be held, then headed upstairs to the reception room. When I first walked in the room, I was so impressed with how beautiful our centerpieces had turned out! They were exactly what I had pictured and looked even better than I had hoped in the room.


We had a bunch of extra candles to go on the tables, but quickly decided that we already had too much stuff and removed those. We put some candles around where the cake would go, set out the favors, table numbers and seating cards and were done. I was so worried about time, but we kept getting everything done ahead of schedule! The boy headed downstairs to start greeting our guests and I waited for the cake to arrive, so I could make sure it was placed in the right spot. The cake came and it, too, was more beautiful than I had hoped. I was so pleased with how everything came together.


Then it was just time to wait. My Mom, stepdad, and the photographer waited with me at the top of the staircase until everyone had arrived and we were ready to go. When the officiant arrived, he came up to introduce himself. We talked for a minute and then he asked me for the marriage license. Oh right. I guess we were supposed to bring that with us, huh? Funny, it didn't make it on any of my lists and as many times as I'd gone over everything, NO ONE picked up on the fact that we were overlooking it. I was afraid he'd say that we couldn't get married or that the marriage date would need to be different on the license, but he said it happens all the time and just to bring it to him Monday. Whew!

Finally, someone came to tell me everyone was ready and then I started shaking. I was so nervous! I came down the staircase with my Mom and stepdad following me and the photographer snapping pictures. At the bottom, Mom handed me my flowers and I walked in. I was seeing everyone for the first time, so I kept smiling and looking around, trying to say hello to everyone. The boy was nowhere in sight, but I just headed toward the officiant and finally I saw the sweetie behind some people off to the side. We held hands and the ceremony started. I started to get emotional right away and had a hard time saying "I do." When the boy started with the vows, I couldn't hold it in and started crying. I wanted to look into the boy's eyes while we exchanged vows, but I knew that the tears were contagious, so I tried to look away for part of it. It was no good. We were both a mess and with no tissues! (Mother-in-law's handkerchief was safely pinned to the inside of my dress for luck). It was such a touching moment, but a little embarrassing in front of all those people--yikes!

We exchanged rings,


kissed,


and were done and heading upstairs for the reception. We mingled with our guests a little bit and then took parents and siblings out to a separate room for formal pictures.



Back to the room for dinner and more chatting, then we cut the cake (which was sooo good!)

and snuck away again for a few more pictures


and before we knew it, everyone was heading home.

We cleaned up, sent my parents back off to our apartment and headed back to the hotel. The next morning, we met our parents for brunch at the hotel, which was so nice. I'm really glad we decided to do that, so the parents could spend a little more time together and we could go over all the events of the previous night.

It was such a great day and I only wish it hadn't gone by so quickly. I spent the entire day with a smile on my face and am so happy we are able to be married. Hard as it is to get used to, I'm so glad to be Mrs. Sweetie!

Weddings, Meetings, and Names

It turns out that our photographer has been spending the last couple days in bed getting over being sick, rather than working on our pictures. I can't say I blame him, but that just means that we'll all have to wait a bit longer for photographic evidence that the sweetie and I really went through with it.

In the meantime, I thought I'd let you know (in case you don't read the blog) that the sweetie has posted the story of how we met in three installments starting here. Now you too can be privy to the story, in all its scandalous details! I love the story of how we met because, although I didn't recognize it at the time, that moment was the single most life-altering event in my 30-odd years.

I used to think that the whole "there's only one person for each of us" theory was crap. I thought that people were just hard to get along with, period, and any relationship would take a ton of work. As long as there is some basic compatibility, I thought all relationships were pretty much the same. I was so very wrong. When I met the sweetie, I was so desperately unhappy and I could see no way out. The sweetie recognized, even when I couldn't, that I could be happy, that I didn't deserve to be miserable like I was. As silly and cliche as it sounds, I had no idea a relationship could be like this. I never imagined how it could feel to be able to depend on someone else and know that they can depend on me. To be in a relationship that's mutually supportive and understanding. I think every. single. day how fortunate I am that the sweetie came into my life (and was smart enough to recognize how good we'd be together).

Which brings me to the topic of names (well, it really doesn't, but I couldn't think of a good segue). For the majority of my life, I thought I would never get married. Back when I thought the only option was marrying a man, I could think of nothing worse that getting married, having a few kids, and spending the rest of my life taking care of all these people while trying to earn a living at the same time. I certainly would never change my name to a man's name and lose that symbolic identity along with the literal one. Once I started dating women, a lot of my opinions changed, but I still didn't think I would ever change my name.

When the sweetie and I started discussing the possibility of having children, the topic of names came up. It was important to the boy (and to me) that our family share a common last name. We agreed at that time that we would choose a third name that we would both take. Well, I've posted before about my newfound traditionalism upon becoming pregnant, so this next part may not be a surprise. The thing is, I still like the idea of choosing a third name. We tried, we really did. We looked at lists of common surnames, tried to think of words that meant something to us that we could use . . . we just couldn't come up with anything. It didn't make any sense to change to a name that didn't mean anything to either of us; to drop the history of our own names in favor of one that has none. So, I decided to take the sweetie's name. Since I'm volunteering the genetic material for our child, I figured the sweetie could provide the surname. Not to mention that all you have to do is take a look at us and apply the traditional gender stereotypes to come up with that one. Everyone already assumed I would take the boy's name.

Over the last couple days, I've started the process of the name change. I've been working on changing e-mail, voicemail, and my paycheck while I wait for the marriage license and court order that will allow me to change my driver's license and social security card (thanks so very much to DOMA, I will still need to get an order from the probate court to fully change my name). The whole thing is very strange. My new name sounds foreign to me and when I've needed to say my full name the last couple days, I've hesitated. Ha! I wonder how long this will last? I am esctatic about my choices; all this new traditionalism has been my idea. Still, all I need to do is quit my job and become a stay-at-home mom in order for my "nightmare" to be complete. Funny thing love, isn't it?

2 Days (Yikes!)

Tonight, my parents arrive into town for the wedding and then all the fun begins! The next time I post here, I'll be Mrs. Sweetie. Thanks so much for all the love and support on this blog, its been really incredible. See you on the flip side!

Babymaking--Take Two

Attempt #2 was meant to go the same as #1. We arrived at the doctor's office a few days before I was scheduled to ovulate, where an ultrasound was performed to see which ovary was at bat this month. The egg was coming from the left (the one the doctor told us was likely no good) and it wasn't quite ready yet. I was a little bit disappointed because I really didn't want to wait a whole month before we could try again. Walking out of the doctor's office, the boy turned to me and said, "I'd be OK with inseminating the left ovary." That statement changed our whole approach. If we don't care which ovary, then we don't need the ultrasounds. Without the ultrasounds, we wouldn't know when to use the hormone injection to force me to ovulate and we could just let my body pick the timing. If we don't care which ovary, we are back to the plan that we made before the doctor was able to convince us that we needed all of his help. It felt good to give my body a chance and so we decided to roll the dice on lefty.

It took a little work to convince the people at the doctor's office to just give us our frozen samples to take home (they really wanted to prepare them for us), but finally we ended up with a nitrogen tank in our living room. And we waited. And waited. Stress can delay ovulation, did you know? I was worried that I'd mess up the timing and we'd have wasted both the time spent waiting and the money spent on samples. I worried that the samples would thaw out and be ruined before we'd had a chance to use them. Honestly, it all started to get to me and I had a little meltdown. I started to feel like I would never be able to get pregnant from of all this checking and worrying and waiting. It all felt ridiculous and the stress was just too much. I finally let go of trying to control every aspect of this process and trying to be an expert at it. I gave myself permission to be human and, of course, that eliminated the stress I was feeling and allowed my body to get on with it.

The timing was the big issue. Attempt #1 was easy--doctor told us when to do everything. Without doctor's help, it was on me to decide when all this should happen. I was getting anxious that we'd miss it and I decided that would be the worst case. Its better to be early than late (but not too early). I finally got too nervous to wait any longer (I'd let go a little, but not completely) and I told sweetie it was time. We did our routine two days in a row and the sweetie was wonderful. There were some nerves the first month, but on the second attempt, the boy was a pro. Afterwards, we waited for confirmation that I'd ovulated. And waited (sound familiar?). I had planned that we would have one insemination the day before ovulation and one the day of. And I was wrong. We were too early by one day. The boy had performed perfectly, but I had let us down. And again, I let go and all my remaining stress left. We were both disappointed and started looking forward to next month so we could try again.

Not long after this, we went away to get engaged. We came back and I was a mess. Everything felt wrong in my, uh, girly bits. I decided maybe this trying to get pregnant thing wasn't agreeing with me. I'd gotten a bad cold immediately after inseminating the first month and now this? I was not amused, and not quite sure what was happening to me.

Now, before we got on this ride, the sweetie and I had decided how many days we'd wait before taking a pregnancy test. Too early, and you risk getting a false negative, too late and you're driven crazy with the waiting and not knowing. I wanted to have the day in mind before we started so that I wouldn't be tempted--I could tell myself to just be patient and wait for test day. Test day happened to fall on a Monday and all weekend, the sweetie was impatient. Test now, test now, test now!! Monday was so close, though, so I was able to convince the boy that it was best to wait.

Monday morning I woke up early, went to the bathroom, and took the test. With this particular test, you wait three minutes and if there are two lines you're pregnant, one line means you're not. I took the test, half awake, and tried to keep an eye on my watch without waking up too much. The night before we'd both said we thought it would be negative since our timing was off. I just wanted to see it be negative and go back to bed. I glanced over at the test. It was early, maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but I thought I saw a shadow where the second line should be. I waited a few more seconds and looked again. Strange, the shadow had gotten darker. I rubbed my eyes and kept watching, wide awake at this point. Finally, I couldn't deny it any longer. I saw two lines. Two lines = pregnant.

I came flying out of the bathroom and crashed my way into the bedroom. I grabbed the boy and turned around, heading back into the bathroom without pausing. I'm actually surprised the boy was able to get feet on the ground before being literally dragged down the hall. There certainly wasn't time for such things as glasses. "Do you see two lines??!!" The boy leaned close. Even without glasses, there it was. Two lines = pregnant.

We looked at each other, speechless.

Two lines.

Pregnant.

It freaking worked!

Perfect Timing

I'm usually not one to brag, but lately its felt like I'm living a charmed life. Almost two years ago, I met my sweetie. That one event has completely changed my life in every possible way. Being with the sweetie has opened a whole new world for me; one in which I am supported and loved and really seen for who I am (and supported and loved anyway). Every single day together is a precious gift; one that I would not trade for anything in the world.

Now, not even two weeks after the boy asked for my hand, our state has decided that it would actually be legal.

http://www.nytimes.com/aponline/us/AP-CT-ScoConn-Same-Sex-Marriage.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

I can't help but feel as though someone is on our side.

Engagement Weekend

The sweetie surprised me last weekend with a trip to Vermont. Unbeknownst to me, she had arranged for us to stay at the Inn at the New England Culinary Institute. In addition to the inn being a beautiful place to stay and the fact that staying at a culinary school is just plain cool, this is also the school that my favorite celebrity chef attended.

We arrived in Vermont late Friday night, so the sweetie had done some research and found a vegetarian restaurant for us to stop at along the drive. Thinks of everything, that one.

Early Saturday morning, we drove to Mt. Mansfield and took a gondola ride most of the way to the top. We then started out on a fairly challenging, very rocky hike up to the highest point in Vermont. I did drag my hiking boots all the way to Vermont but left them at the hotel, so we were hiking in tennis shoes which made the wet rocks all the more exciting to navigate. We didn't end up making it all the way to the top, but stopped at one point along the trail where Mr. Sweetie got down on one knee and proposed. Of course, I said yes! Our self-portrait immediately after the proposal.

All smiles and in love.

We picked the ring out together a few weeks ago, so the proposal wasn't a complete surprise but I was definitely not expecting it at that moment. I thought that it would come at some point during the weekend, but I was expecting it would be at dinner later that night. I actually thought we'd left the ring in the hotel room, so the sweetie was halfway through the proposal before I caught on and thought, "OMG, this is it!" It was so perfect!

The entire weekend was beautiful and while its just the beginning of the foliage season, I thought the trees couldn't be any more gorgeous. I prefer there to be a bit of green, rather than all reds and golds, and we had a lovely view from the top of the mountain after some of the morning fog burned off.

Later that night, the boy had arranged another surprise--we had a private dinner cooked for us by one of the chef instructors at the school. The sweetie had designed the menu in advance (all vegan, natch) and we got to watch the chef prepare the food and learn some neat tricks (maple syrup in coffee? In mushrooms??!). Here we are, getting ready to eat butternut squash risotto.

And raspberry sorbet for dessert, with a message on the plate:

And a final pic of my sexy fiance on the trecherous hike.