Update

Hoo boy, have we been busy with our two littes.  We've started to settle into life with our sweet peanut and we're all in love.

Have you seen a monthly picture with a sleeping babe?  Not on this blog you haven't.  But this boy actually likes to sleep.

He is such a happy, smiley (not so) little guy.  He loves to laugh and coo at everyone and loves to get attention from his big sister.  And oh she loves to snuggle him. 

Our peanut is growing and growing and interacting more and more with us and his environment.  On his two month birthday he rolled over from belly to back for the first time and did it twice more over the next couple days.  He's currently taking a break from that skill and hasn't repeated it once, even by accident.  Today, just a couple days shy of his four month birthday, he rolled from back to belly and got stuck that way.  Hopefully he'll relearn the belly roll and we'll have proper rolling going on (in both directions).

The peanut has also been getting better and better at holding things in his hands and has been putting everything in his mouth and drooling.  It looked an awful lot like teething but I didn't believe it because its too early for that.  So, of course, last week not one, but two bottom teeth pushed their way through his gumline.  That'll show me!

Last week was a big week for us because poor Mr. Peanut also got his first illness.  Bronchiolitis--the same virus our bean caught for her first illness.  Not my first choice but I guess I have no say in the matter.  We have tried very hard to keep the peanut healthy and, with an older child in school, I think we did pretty well to ward it off for almost four months.  Luckily, it seemed to be fairly mild and the Peanut is recovering well.  Hopefully we can make it through the rest of the flu season without too many more illnesses (for any of us!)

One Year

Today, at 3:23 pm, we will be celebrating the anniversary of the bean's birth. I've thought quite a bit over the last couple weeks about what I want to remember in this birthday post. I wanted to remember the bean's birth story and how I had wondered for nine months what contractions might feel like and if I would recognize them, then laughed when the first one came because it was unmistakable. I wanted to tell how we had taken so many classes and read even more books, but during transition, no relaxation technique could have helped me. How, at the moment of her birth, I was consumed with the pain of labor and didn't realize she had been born until our midwife told me to open my eyes and see her staring up at me.

But going back that far, to the moments before and during her birth, leaves out all of the magic and pain and tears and beauty of this first year. I also wanted to talk about how surprised I was the day I put her on her stomach for tummy time and she rolled onto her back for the first time. And how proud I was day that I tried to put a rattle in her hand and she held it for a moment before it fell to the ground. The first time she pulled herself up onto her hands and knees. The first time she looked up at us and smiled back, or the first time she laughed a big, joyous, belly laugh. Her first step. The first time she tried to put her toes in her mouth. A celebration of our bean's first year must also include a celebration of these, and many more, happy moments.

I also want to remember the struggle, to see how far we've come. I remember so many tears those first two weeks--we were all so tired and the three of us were learning how to be a family; how we were going to get along and what it would take to take care of each other. I wanted to talk about how I thought I would die if we weren't sleeping through the night by six months and how, when we still weren't (and still aren't now) we figured it out. We made it work and learned to get by and its not as hard as I thought it would be.

I wanted to tell the story of how hard breastfeeding was in the beginning, how exhausting and painful it was, how I literally could not take a shower without the bean crying to nurse while I was away. I wanted to say that sometimes it still is exhausting and painful, but now its mostly just sweet and lovely. A year is such a big milestone and, while we aren't planning to wean just yet, I'm starting to see that someday this will end and there is more sadness and less joy at that thought than I had imagined. I love being able to comfort and nurture out little bean and my heart melts a bit when she reaches for me.

Most of all, I wanted to remember the day, the exact moment when I hit my stride as a parent. I want to remember when the idea of going to the grocery store with the baby stopped terrifying me. The moment when I stopped wondering how the world could continue as it had before, while here I was just trying to function. The day I decided it wouldn't really hurt anything if I pulled my dirty hair into a ponytail and went on about my day without a shower. When was the exact moment that my peripheral vision and reflexes becamed sharpened to the point that I can now catch a dropped sippy cup midair without pausing my conversation? The day that I learned just how many diapers to pack in the diaper bag without running out or having too many? The day that being vomited on stopped fazing me? I wish I knew. Sitting here now, as the mother of a one year old, I feel calm and confident and its only when I look back at the new parent I was a year ago--scared, confused, and unsure--that I realize how far we've come, but there are no exact moments I can point to.

Today, we celebrate the bean's birth and all the joy she's brought to our lives. We celebrate the fact that we made it through this first year and we're also celebrating this subtle transition. The bean is no longer a baby. I'm not sure when in this last year it happened, but today its unequivocal. The boy and I have also grown. A year ago, we became parents but at some point during that year, we turned into moms.

11 Months

Eleven months, eleven months. Where does the time go?

At eleven months, the bean has taken her first step, but is much too timid to actually take off and walk on her own. When we try to get her to walk towards us (or even to just stand on her own), she puts her arms out to the side as if to say, "Whoa mom, why'd you let go?" and very slowly eases herself down to the floor. She'll be running circles around us soon enough, but for now I'm OK with her taking her time.

The last few months, the bean had slowed down a bit with her babbling, but now her voice is back and she has a lot to say. She still has no words, at least that we can recognize, but she sometimes will slap her hand down on the table and repeat the same sound louder and I imagine that she's frustrated that we just don't understand what "Gah. GAH!!" means.

The bean is getting more and more social every day and loves to wave at every person (and inanimate object) that she sees. She loves to be out and about and is a big crankster if we try to stay around the house for a day. Not that we've been doing much of that now that the nice weather has arrived, but it means we'll have to get creative this winter.

The boy taught the bean how to give kisses and she's now a bit out of control with them. Everybody gets a kiss (or two) along with all her toys and every page of all her books, the dog, the cat, the table. Its a regular love-fest at our house.

After months and months of sleeping issues we had just resigned ourselves to the fact that we had a bean who was never tired. Somehow a switch was flipped at eleven months and the bean is finally sleepy. I would even go so far as to call her a good napper now, which feels strange to write after so long with her not napping at all. I have a few posts planned on the topic of sleep and what we did to encourage her, but I think mostly the bean just decided sleep was alright after all.

Finally, let's have a moment of silence for the Itsy Bitsy Spider. It used to be almost magic in its ability to calm the bean down and end crying, but no more. Luckily, we've discovered a replacement in the form of a little dog named B-I-N-G-O. I would have liked it to be something else (maybe something more soothing and less tiring to sing?), but the bean loves BINGO and who am I to argue?

June!

Happy June 1st!

A year ago today, I turned to the boy and said, "Well, I guess this baby is really going to have a June birthday." With a due date in the middle of the month, I felt sure of this since July 1st was a full two weeks (two weeks!) past my due date. What were the odds of being 14 days overdue?

Little did I know just how long this bean would make us wait, but she was well worth it. And even though the overgrown and uncomfortable me from a year ago would cringe to hear it, we would have waited many more months for her.

Happy birthday month, beanie!

10 Months

Ten months is all about standing, standing, and more standing, followed by walking while holding onto a hand (or two) and climbing up and down the stairs. We did put a baby gate at the top of our stairs, but we opted to leave the bottom open so the bean could learn to navigate them and its one of her favorite things to do (with a mom spotting, of course).

We've been signing to the bean for several months now, although we haven't been terribly consistent with it. We've been signing milk, all done, more, eat, and cat. It seemed like maybe the bean was signing milk to us, but its sort of a common hand motion for a baby and she seemed to do it at inappropriate times, so we weren't sure. The last couple weeks, its been very clear that she means what she's saying (and maybe she has all along?) and its so cute when she gets right in my face and signs milk as though she's saying, "Will you feed me already, woman?"

At 10 months, the bean is finally starting to eat the way I imagine a toddler should. She's no longer refusing to eat more than a bite or two of solid food and is instead keeping us on our toes by sometimes eating a large meal and other times eating nothing at all.

The bean has mastered waving goodbye and clapping and will raise both arms over her head if you ask her how big she is. She will also give you a hug if you ask her for one (and she's in the mood to do it) and it just melts my heart when she throws her arms around my neck and squeezes. Its truly one of the best things ever.

The bean has also started squealing and will just sort of randomly start doing it when she's playing. The other day we spent quite a while playing this game where the boy held her and I ducked my head around the corner and peaked out at them. Everytime the bean saw me she and I would squeal until I hid again. Silly yes, but endlessly entertaining nonetheless.

Mostly, the bean is getting bigger and bigger and is leaving babyhood behind. We are starting to have conversations that start with, "Do you remember when she used to . . . ?" And you know what? I'm starting to not remember. I wish I could have a do-over of her first few months with a little less sleep deprivation so I could remember more of it. I can't believe how quickly this time has passed and look how big our little bean has gotten!

The sign says 10 months, just trust me on that one. You have no idea how hard its becoming to take these pictures--the bean will hold the sign so it faces every direction but at the camera.

Another really fun game

Here she is, all strapped into her carseat, ready to go to the store and, I might add, properly dressed with long sleeves and socks, since it was a cool day.

And here she is once we arrived at the store. Apparently, the socks were cramping her style.

We play this game every day. So much fun (for her)!

9 Months

When we first decided to start taking these monthly pictures, I wondered whether we'd be able to take the pictures on the exact monthly anniversary of the bean's birth for 12 months without missing one. So far, we have been able to keep up with taking the pictures but, as you may have noticed, I've been posting the pictures later and later in the month.



So, even though she's almost 10 months old, here's what the bean is (was) up to at 9 months.

Let me start by saying that, although I declare each new month "the most fun," I really mean it this time. 9 months is so. much. fun. The bean is so busy crawling and climbing and laughing and playing. We are getting to see more and more of her personality and more and more of her sense of humor and its just so fun. What we have learned is that our bean is a very social person. She waves and "talks" to every person she sees and hasn't displayed even the slightest bit of stranger anxiety. She actually wouldn't let me get away with lying recently when a total stranger came up and wanted to hold her. Um, no, I'm not handing my baby over to someone I don't know, so I fibbed and said, "Oh, she's really scared of new people, I'm afraid she'll cry." Meanwhile, the bean was reaching for this woman and trying to squirm out of my arms to get to her, which was probably the first of many times she'll rat me out.

The bean has gotten better at crawling and is a little faster at it, but she's still not getting anywhere very quickly on her hands and knees. She'd much prefer to be walking and will pull up to standing and grab at our hands to help her along, only resorting to crawling as a last resort.

The bean has also apparently gotten tired of hearing the thing that I swear I must say 100 times a day--please don't put that in your mouth. She now finds some off limits item (usually a piece of fuzz off the floor) and puts it quickly into her mouth, then howls with laughter when I come running to try to dig it out of her mouth. Such a fun game for her!

Given that putting things in her mouth is such a fun game, you'd think she'd be doing better eating solid food, but not so. The bean is definitely over having someone feed her baby food and would much prefer finger food, but she's still only eating a couple bites at each meal. She's still nursing every 2-3 hours, so I think she's just not hungry for solid food but I'm sure she'll start eating more when she's ready.

What else? We hit a bit of a snag with our toilet training while we were on vacation last month. We purchased a ring to sit on top of a regular sized toilet to make it baby-sized, but the bean was scared of it and didn't want to sit on it (I can't really blame her--a toilet is so tall compared to a baby!) We just stopped our efforts during that week which meant it took a bit of time for her to get back into the swing of things. We seem to have regained the ground we lost and are adding a third toilet session to our day. I'm really talking a lot more about going to the bathroom than I ever thought I would, but I really want to document this journey and I'm very curious to see how everything works out and to look back at what we did along the way.

Moving on. At 9 months, the bean is starting to become less baby and more toddler. I definitely have mixed feelings about this. I miss our little baby who we held and stared at for hours. I'm excited to move onto the next phase and toddlers are the absolute most fun! Also, toddlers are pretty scary. I'm a bit intimidated by the baby tantrums we've seen--the refusal to have her diaper changed or clothes put on, her crawling away when we ask her to come to us. Right before she was born, I wondered how we'd ever parent a baby and now I'm wondering the same thing about a toddler. I know we'll figure it out, but its a little scary (and a lot exciting!) right now.

And finally, my favorite thing about 9 months requires a bit of explanation. I used to see other new parents holding their little babies up against their chests and I'd feel a twinge of jealousy that their babies would rest their little heads right up on their parent's chest and snuggle in. As a newborn, our bean never really liked to be held that way (she didn't really like to be held, period). But we're now getting a taste of it at 9 months. When she's tired, or sad, or just needing a hug, she snuggles right in and its the best. thing. ever. Yay for 9 months!

Two-fer

Two days before we left for vacation (almost a month ago now!), the bean's first tooth broke through.


She spent most of December with painful teething and then those little teeth took a vacation for a few months. This first one popped through in mid-March with little notice. We just saw that her gums looked swollen one day and the next day I felt the very tip of it.

Notice all the fingers in that picture. Its not so easy to take a picture of the inside of a squirming baby's mouth. Even with props, it takes lots of hands.

Two weeks later, the second tooth broke through with the same lack of fanfare, but now the top teeth are coming. You may remember it was the top teeth that we thought were giving her the trouble in December. Well, those two upper guys (gals?) are working their way down now and, apparently, they hurt. The poor bean has been grumpy the last few days and there have been lots and lots of tears. Although, I guess if cutting teeth has to hurt, its maybe better to cut four more or less at once to just get it over with.

Easter

I know I'm late, but I couldn't pass up the opportunity to share a picture of our little jellybean in her easter dress.

She's getting so big!

Do you like vacation??!!

A few weeks ago, the bean crawled over to the sliding door and sat there staring out and pounding on the glass.

I got the feeling she was trying to tell me that she had a little cabin fever and who could blame her? Between our many illnesses and the bad weather, it seems we've been cooped up in the house all winter. We decided we needed to get away to someplace WARM.

To say we were nervous about the trip is an understatement. We tried to remember every detail that would make the bean comfortable and avoid any potential meltdowns. Thankfully, our bean was a trooper and did her best to charm everyone around us, earning herself the nickname "the little mayor."

At some point during our first day of travel, the boy turned to the bean and explained that we were going on vacation. "This is vacation, do you like it? Do you like vacation?" We laughed so much at this and remembered to check in often during our week away. "Bean! Do you like vacation?" The more times we said it, the crazier our voices got until the bean was very perplexed at her parents talking in funny voices and then laughing hysterically.


We spent our week swimming, sitting on the beach and relaxing. The bean loved playing in the water and waving at every single person she saw. Vacation with the bean was, obviously, much different than going away pre-baby. We had to be careful to organize our day around the bean's nap and meal schedule and, of course, we enjoyed no late dinners out--we had to be back in our room by 7 each night to put the bean to bed.

But we all had such a great time and loved getting away and having nothing to do but take care of the bean and lounge around.

And we're definitely looking forward to taking our "little mayor" on another trip soon!

Knitting Lessons

Rocking the faux-hawk and playing with mama's knitting.

I hope you someday take needles in hand and get as much enjoyment out of this craft as I do, little one!

I'm THAT mom

I've been sort of straddling the world of the stay-at-home mom and that of the working mom the past few months. I feel very fortunate that I was able to cut my work hours back to part-time so I can spend more time with the bean during the day. In many ways, I have the best of both worlds.

Of course the flip side of that is that I also have the worst of both worlds. And that is this: the bean is at daycare 1/5 of the week and it would only seem fair that she would get 1/5 of the germs, but we seem to have a special deal where the remaining bugs are thrown in for free. Yay! Its heartbreaking to see her spend every weekend with a runny nose and gradually get better just in time to head back to school and get sick again.

On my days off work, we try to stay busy with playdates and activities around town so we don't both go stir crazy, but we have these freeloading germs that come along with us.

So, I'm that mom who's kid always has a runny nose.
I'm that mom who cancels a playdate because her kid is STILL sick (or sick again).
I'm that mom who shows up to storytime with pinkeye. (Me, not the kid. Oh, so much fun!)
I'm that mom who shows up late and frazzled because I was answering work emails all morning.

I'm also that mom who shows up on St. Patrick's day with the only kid who isn't in a cute green outfit. I guess I can't blame that one on work or germs, that one's just because I'm a flake.

Getting around

The bean has requested that I retract my earlier statements regarding her lack of interest in crawling.

She also feels very strongly that army crawling counts and I'm in no position to disagree with her.



Who knew all it took was a ziplock bag for motivation?

8 Months

My favorite thing about the bean at 8 months old is that she now lifts up her arms and reaches for us when she wants to be picked up. We held her for quite a bit of her day before, but now I find myself carrying her with me even more often because I just can't say no when she's now able to ask to be held. I'll stand up, intending to leave her playing with her toys while I run to the next room to refill my glass, and end up bringing her on my hip because she grabs my pants and lifts her arms to me as soon as I get up. So cute and irresistable! Actually, the bean seems to be experiencing a bit of separation anxiety and isn't keen on being left alone in a room at all even for a few minutes (or alone in her crib, or sitting anywhere that she can't see someone else).

The bean has started communicating a preference for whose arms she'd like to be in. She'll sometimes almost crawl out of my arms to try to get to the boy when they haven't seen each other all day. I love to see how excited the bean gets to see her mommy and its such a joy to watch them playing together. I'm not sure I've ever seen the bean as happy as she is when she gets a good grip on the boy's glasses and is getting ready to pull them off and finally get a chance to really check them out.

The bean has mastered pulling up to standing and is beginning to cruise while just holding one mom's hand for support. I was afraid she might get up to standing and get stuck there, but she hasn't had any problem plopping herself back down to sitting--the problem is that she'll flop onto her stomach from sitting and get stuck there and cry until one of us sits her back up again. She still has no interest in crawling, but she manages to get around through a strange combination of rolling, scooting, and flopping from her hands and knees onto her belly.

We have a play area for the bean that's equipped with a floor mat with interlocking pieces. The bean has always been much more interested in taking it apart and eating the pieces than she is with playing on it, but lately she's also found a way to get herself stuck in the middle of the pieces and trying to get back out is lots of fun too!

Now, how did I end up where the circle is supposed to be?

At 8 months, the bean has also started waving "bye bye" when one of us waves to her. I've said this several times before, but I really think this age is the most fun.

7 Months

With the bean being sick, time has gotten away from me. I'm just getting around to posting the bean's 7 month photo with only a couple days to spare before she turns 8 months old.

At 7 months, the bean has absolutely no interest in crawling, but she is quite the wiggler and climber. And the grabbing! Oh my goodness, this kid wants to hold everything except for the things that we give her to hold. We thought she was grabby at 4 months, but its amazing how much better at it she's gotten. I'm sure I'll be saying the same thing again once she's better able to get around.

The bean now pulls up to standing with very little help and can stay that way for quite a while if she has something to hold on to. She is just starting to figure out how to put one foot in front of the other and will walk with someone holding her hands and will even cruise around furniture (gulp!) if we help steady her midsection as she does it. The bean has also gotten into a sitting position on her own one time, but I don't think she realized that she's the one who put herself in that position because she hasn't done it again since.

The bean has moved on from babbling about mama and baba and is now onto dada. We're glad she's learning how to say new vowels, but for some reason its just not as thrilling to hear as mama is.

Moving on--the bean is still toothless. She teethed like crazy for all of December, but her teeth now seem to be on a break and while we can see them very close to breaking through, they don't seem to be bothering her and haven't made any more downward progress in a month.

The bean continues to work on her pincer grasp and, while she shows no interest in feeding herself the small bits of food we've offered her, she has on more than one ocassion managed to use that first finger and thumb to pick up a little fuzz ball off the floor and pop it into her mouth. Yum!

Speaking of food, the bean is still not too thrilled with the solid stuff. On a good night, she'll agree to take a couple bites before absolutely refusing. At least 3 nights a week, however, she won't open her mouth at all, whether we try to feed her or we try to get her to feed herself. We're still trying to offer new things and hoping she'll take more interest in food once we start giving her stuff with a little more texture to it. Or I might be nursing until she's 5. One of the two.

Most of all, the bean is a very happy, easygoing baby. We knew we were lucky before, but after dealing with Grumpy McGrumperson while she was sick we are so grateful to have our giggly little girl back.

Still Sick

The bean is STILL sick! I can hardly believe it, but its been over two weeks of high fevers, a runny nose, vomiting, and lots and lots of coughing. Apparently, the bean's immune system was busy fighting off the bronchiolitis when another virus came along and caught her off guard, making her sick, sick, sick. She hasn't been much interested in nursing and what she has been able to eat, she hasn't been able to keep down. We thought she was looking a bit skinny and late last week we noticed a decrease in wet diapers, so we were off yet again to the doctor's office for our third visit since all this started. We were hoping the bean hadn't lost too much weight, but she's down a little over a pound.

The bean has been waking up in the middle of the night crying almost unconsolably and I've been reminded of what it was like those first few weeks with a newborn. Now we are back to counting wet diapers, timing feedings and scheduling weight checks like with a newborn as we work on operation (re)chubby baby.

Thank goodness we're (hopefully) at the tail end of all this craziness and we just need to fatten up our little girl and she'll have an easy recovery.

Ode to Tylenol

Tylenol, you are a miracle drug;
if you were a person, I'd give you a hug.
Our baby awakes shortly after midnight;
Cheeks flushed and warm, what to do for our plight?
I find the thermometer, wishing I could sleep more;
I'm wide awake when I see a temp of 102.4!

Quickly, we look for that red and white label.
There you are (our savior!), on the night table.
One holds her arms; the other, the head;
getting her to drink is the part that I dread.
I swear under my breath as our operation goes south,
why won't this kid just open her mouth?

Finally we say enough is enough,
with her face and our bed covered with the stuff.
Thank you, Tylenol, her fever has passed!
I drift off to sleep wondering why you taste like such ass?
When she sees the bottle, she tries to escape.
Can you blame her? Your flavor should be called dirt, not cherry or grape.

Forewarned doesn't mean anything

Well, we knew it was coming. We expected it and were warned by, well, everyone. Still, the reality of the daycare sickness is harder than we expected. And it came sooner. Just two weeks at the place, only two days without her moms, and the bean has bronchiolitis. She's miserable and has spent much of the last three days groaning or outright crying. Its certainly not helping that her moms keep coming at her with the ultimate baby torture devices--saline drops and a nasal aspirator.

I know this is not at all uncommon and that all babies go through this, but that knowledge doesn't make it any easier to see the thermometer up above 100 and to see the bean not able to nurse because she can't breathe through her nose. It breaks my heart to see her in pain and know that there's precious little I can do about it. Get better soon bean!

More daycare

We spent an hour a day at the bean's daycare last week under the guise of getting her acclimated to it, although the reality is that it was probably more for us than for her. From the first day, she seemed completely comfortable playing with all the toys and watching the older kids crawl around. We benefitted more from seeing the daily routine and watching the providers caring for the other babies. I had planned to write detailed directions on how to get the bean to take her bottle and how to get her to sleep, but it was quickly apparent that this would be unnecessary. These women take care of babies for a living and they know what they're doing.

By the end of the week, we both felt completely comfortable leaving the bean and we did just that--we left her there and went out for breakfast. She was fine, although we were both wrecks. It occured to me as we were slipping out that this was the first time ever in her life that she wasn't with either of her moms and that thought brought the tears. I kissed her little head and waved over my shoulder to the care providers because I knew if I looked back it would be all over. The boy was more stoic, but did rush me through my breakfast and, although we had meant to be gone for an hour, we were back in 45 minutes. We peeked in the little window and saw the bean sitting on someone's lap having a grand time. When we walked in, she saw us and reached for us both, which was the best feeling ever.

This week is the real thing--she starts going for two 1/2 days per week on her own. I'm sure she'll love it and I hope to be able to stop crying about it at some point as well!

First Taste

The bean started solid food the day after christmas. I plan to make most of her food myself and we debated for quite some time what to start with. In the end, we decided on sweet potato. I steamed and pureed it, heated it, and we got ready with the video and digital cameras.

She took one bite.

And made this face.

And refused to eat any more.

The next day was the same story, along with the day after that. We've tried pears and peas and have gotten similar lukewarm responses. I'm starting to wonder if we should stop forcing the issue and just wait a bit longer.

Honestly, with the way this girl loves to nurse, I'm not at all surprised that she's not thrilled with the idea of solid food. I have to admit I was sort of hoping for a break, though!