Babymaking--Take Two

{ Tuesday, October 21, 2008 }
Attempt #2 was meant to go the same as #1. We arrived at the doctor's office a few days before I was scheduled to ovulate, where an ultrasound was performed to see which ovary was at bat this month. The egg was coming from the left (the one the doctor told us was likely no good) and it wasn't quite ready yet. I was a little bit disappointed because I really didn't want to wait a whole month before we could try again. Walking out of the doctor's office, the boy turned to me and said, "I'd be OK with inseminating the left ovary." That statement changed our whole approach. If we don't care which ovary, then we don't need the ultrasounds. Without the ultrasounds, we wouldn't know when to use the hormone injection to force me to ovulate and we could just let my body pick the timing. If we don't care which ovary, we are back to the plan that we made before the doctor was able to convince us that we needed all of his help. It felt good to give my body a chance and so we decided to roll the dice on lefty.

It took a little work to convince the people at the doctor's office to just give us our frozen samples to take home (they really wanted to prepare them for us), but finally we ended up with a nitrogen tank in our living room. And we waited. And waited. Stress can delay ovulation, did you know? I was worried that I'd mess up the timing and we'd have wasted both the time spent waiting and the money spent on samples. I worried that the samples would thaw out and be ruined before we'd had a chance to use them. Honestly, it all started to get to me and I had a little meltdown. I started to feel like I would never be able to get pregnant from of all this checking and worrying and waiting. It all felt ridiculous and the stress was just too much. I finally let go of trying to control every aspect of this process and trying to be an expert at it. I gave myself permission to be human and, of course, that eliminated the stress I was feeling and allowed my body to get on with it.

The timing was the big issue. Attempt #1 was easy--doctor told us when to do everything. Without doctor's help, it was on me to decide when all this should happen. I was getting anxious that we'd miss it and I decided that would be the worst case. Its better to be early than late (but not too early). I finally got too nervous to wait any longer (I'd let go a little, but not completely) and I told sweetie it was time. We did our routine two days in a row and the sweetie was wonderful. There were some nerves the first month, but on the second attempt, the boy was a pro. Afterwards, we waited for confirmation that I'd ovulated. And waited (sound familiar?). I had planned that we would have one insemination the day before ovulation and one the day of. And I was wrong. We were too early by one day. The boy had performed perfectly, but I had let us down. And again, I let go and all my remaining stress left. We were both disappointed and started looking forward to next month so we could try again.

Not long after this, we went away to get engaged. We came back and I was a mess. Everything felt wrong in my, uh, girly bits. I decided maybe this trying to get pregnant thing wasn't agreeing with me. I'd gotten a bad cold immediately after inseminating the first month and now this? I was not amused, and not quite sure what was happening to me.

Now, before we got on this ride, the sweetie and I had decided how many days we'd wait before taking a pregnancy test. Too early, and you risk getting a false negative, too late and you're driven crazy with the waiting and not knowing. I wanted to have the day in mind before we started so that I wouldn't be tempted--I could tell myself to just be patient and wait for test day. Test day happened to fall on a Monday and all weekend, the sweetie was impatient. Test now, test now, test now!! Monday was so close, though, so I was able to convince the boy that it was best to wait.

Monday morning I woke up early, went to the bathroom, and took the test. With this particular test, you wait three minutes and if there are two lines you're pregnant, one line means you're not. I took the test, half awake, and tried to keep an eye on my watch without waking up too much. The night before we'd both said we thought it would be negative since our timing was off. I just wanted to see it be negative and go back to bed. I glanced over at the test. It was early, maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me, but I thought I saw a shadow where the second line should be. I waited a few more seconds and looked again. Strange, the shadow had gotten darker. I rubbed my eyes and kept watching, wide awake at this point. Finally, I couldn't deny it any longer. I saw two lines. Two lines = pregnant.

I came flying out of the bathroom and crashed my way into the bedroom. I grabbed the boy and turned around, heading back into the bathroom without pausing. I'm actually surprised the boy was able to get feet on the ground before being literally dragged down the hall. There certainly wasn't time for such things as glasses. "Do you see two lines??!!" The boy leaned close. Even without glasses, there it was. Two lines = pregnant.

We looked at each other, speechless.

Two lines.


It freaking worked!


Jess said...

I just might be as excited as you are! I got goosebumps reading this!!!

I need to go do some cartwheels right now!!

CONGRATS!!! This is AWESOME news!!!

weese said...

omg omg!

ok... now.. kids... start saving for college.
right now.
before you buy the crib.
(and remember now, this is very early. try to temper your hopes realistically... ya know...while jumping up and down and dancing around the room)

JR said...

I still can't believe it... How AWESOME!

Baby, together we're going to take this one day at a time and today whoo hooo... so HAPPY that this is where we are!

I love you so much

Anonymous said...

Oh wow! Congratulations! Sometimes trusting our bodies and our instincts is the best thing we can do. I love this story and am so happy for you!

timaree said...

P.S. I'm the anonymous person who hit "Enter" too soon.

Butch Boo said...

Fan Bloody Tastic!!

As they say in blighty!



Val said...

WOWEE!!!! Awesome. Congrats!