Still here

{ Saturday, October 20, 2012 }
(I wrote this 3 days ago but never got around to publishing it. Spoiler alert-the peanut arrived yesterday!! Details to come.)

I'm just over a week overdue and still waiting. We've been stepping up our efforts to get this boy out-evening primrose oil, red raspberry leaf tea, long walks, castor oil packs, and acupressure. Yesterday I had my first membrane sweep-I was 70% effaced and 3 cm dilated which felt encouraging. I went to sleep last night expecting to be in labor by morning but nada. I looked back at my notes from the bean's pregnancy and realized that I was at about the same dilation, although almost a week further along, when I had my first membrane sweep with the bean and went into labor that night. I know it must be soon. The contractions I've been having have become more frequent and more intense over the last few days and I keep thinking it must be any minute now.

This evening I'll have an acupuncture treatment and, if I'm still pregnant by Friday, a second non-stress test along with another membrane sweep.

I'm trying so hard to enjoy these last few moments of being pregnant (ever!), but its so hard when there's all this pressure to get him out before the deadline.

I'm also feeling so guilty about not being able to pick up the bean, or to even bend over to help her get her shoes on or reach something off the floor. I keep promising her that once the baby comes, I'll be able to do these things again, but then I think oh after I heal and then after I recover from all that sleep deprivation of having a newborn and oh yeah, when the baby isn't sleeping in my arms or nursing. I know it will be an adjustment but we'll figure all this stuff out eventually. I'm just already feeling badly that I may break some of these promises.

And I just can't end on that negative note because, oh my goodness are we all excited to have a new little baby in the house. To squeeze that little peanut and kiss baby toes and fingers and watch him sleep and yawn-yay! The bean has already professed her love for this little guy and has so many plans for what she plans to teach him and what they'll play together and how much she can't wait to help change diapers. Also, the upside to being so overdue? We are so ready! We are working through the things on the to do list that I thought we wouldn't have time to finish. So yay for that! (And please come soon, peanut!)

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