Hi-Ho Hi-Ho

{ Tuesday, December 08, 2009 }
Since before the bean was born, we've struggled with the question of whether or not I'd go back to work. The boy and I considered several different possibilities that would allow us to keep our bean out of daycare, but finally decided that the only thing that would work for us would be for me to stay home, or work part-time. We were still weighing the pros and cons when the bean arrived and I admit that I did a little Scarlett O'Hara every time the topic came up--I put the decision off for another day.

As my maternity leave came to an end, I finally got up the nerve to talk to my boss and we arranged for my job to be outsourced back to me on a part-time basis. I had fully expected that this would not be an option and that I would end up resigning outright, so I was pleasantly surprised, but surprised nonetheless that I would be going back to work. I consider myself very fortunate to have this opportunity and to have had as long of a maternity leave as I did, but I think it must be hard to go back to work whether you're home for 6 weeks or 6 years. I've been dreading the day that I'd go back, even though I love the work that I do and I'm looking forward to earning a paycheck again.

The dread has been compounded by the question of childcare. We had planned to hire a nanny to come to our house to care for the bean. Our nanny story goes like this: after screening applicants for schedule conflicts and moral objections to our same-sex status, we scheduled interviews. After no shows and last minute cancellations, we interviewed two women. We chose one to come back while we were both home to care for the bean for a few hours. It didn't work out. Just a tip to potential nannies--when a mother of the child you are caring for says, "Oh my god, she's choking!" The best course of action would be to immediately stop whatever you are doing that is choking the child. Continuing on until the child vomits while the mothers try to wrestle the baby from your arms will get you a, "Thanks for your time, sorry it didn't work out."

Thankfully, the boy's mother has volunteered to help out for the next couple weeks. After that, the boy will have some leave from work and will be on bean duty. And then, she'll go to daycare. Before the bean was born, we had picked a daycare that we love and they still have an opening, thankfully.

My first day of work was yesterday. The boy tells me the first few hours went smoothly, until the bean decided she wouldn't settle for substitutes and wanted to nurse to sleep. Mother-in-law and the boy were able to finally get her to nap for a bit (after some serious crying) and I came home to a very sleepy, but otherwise happy, bean. Me? I cried in the car to and from work.


Anonymous said...

I can't imagine how difficult it must be to go back to work. I really hope it gets easier for you.

Strawberry said...

Whoa...the choking thing? CRAZY!

As you know, we're in a similar boat. We have our first nanny interview today. It all just royally sucks. Glad you could get your job back part time though.

CJ said...

I had the opposite problem...being a nanny trying to find a family that didn't object to MY same sex status! I love the family I work for, they seriously are the best people ever....not that I'm biased!

It's hard to leave your kid....you have to find a perfect fit! And whether we like it (as parents) or not, our children pick up habits, expressions, etc. from their child care provider. You BEST like them....a LOT!

Val said...

aww.... it's gonna be ok... :)