Its my (pity) party and I'll whine if I want to

{ Tuesday, December 02, 2008 }
It turns out, it was a bit optimistic for me to be hoping the morning sickness was tapering off at 9 weeks. I had those few blissful days of relief, followed by a couple weeks of a kinder, gentler nausea that was totally manageable and now I'm hit with this. I've been told I tend towards the dramatic, but even I'm at a loss to come up with words horrifying enough to describe this feeling. Every day is worse than the one before, the nausea has invaded every fiber of my being and is waking me up at night (seriously waking me up in the middle of the night so that I can roll around feeling sick to my stomach)! Its relentless--I feel sick every second of the day. I can't think. I can't get out of bed. Today, I woke up, dropped my beloved off at the train and drove an hour to work only to walk into the building, take one look at my desk, and turn right around and come home. I couldn't face even the idea of sitting down and pretending to work while this nausea has its claws in me. And the exhaustion! Oh, I'm so incredibly tired. On more than one occasion I have debated whether I really need to get out of bed to go to the bathroom or maybe I can hold it a while longer because the 20 paces to the bathroom might as well be 20 miles.

Out the window is the idea that I wouldn't be eating refined sugar while pregnant. Ha! That's a laugh--gatorade, chocolate, and gingersnaps are the only things that are helping me to hang on. The idea that I would only eat organic produce? I'm pretty sure all the takeout places we've been visiting aren't buying organic. Oh, and the one where I would be a wonderful partner who continued to do her fair share of household tasks and still prepare meals for her adorable partner who doesn't cook? Not while I'm exhausted and heading to bed the second I get home (oh, that's on the days when I actually stay at work).

And the final straw? I promised myself that I would never, no matter how awful I felt, complain about being pregnant. I know how fortunate I am and what a gift I've been given. I'm a miserable, ungrateful, nauseous twit but this has to, has GOT to end. Now. Please? I know they mean well, but so many people have been telling me their morning sickness ended at 14 weeks and I just can't hear it. Two more weeks? Are ya freakin' kidding me? Has anyone ever died from this? I may well be the first.

And if you're thinking that I'm a creampuff who will never, ever make it through an unmedicated birth, you're not alone. That thought has crossed my mind too.

7 comments:

Dani and Tonka said...

Its ok to complain! I said I would do the same thing but for some women pregnancy is very very hard. Im one of them, on my 2nd bought with a severe cold, had horrid nausea and sometimes I couldnt even carry my own purse because the energy wasnt there. Take it easy and your doing great!

JR said...

You are doing great! I hope that the naseau goes away and you feel better soon. In the meantime, don't worry about the stuff around the house or cooking - I've got the house stuff covered...as for the cooking, well ordering out is fun... but maybe I'll surprise you and try to cook something.

I love you!

Jess said...

Whine on! I know I do when I don't feel well. :)

Hope ya feel better!

weese said...

have you tried....
kidding, i'm kidding.
hang in there. (like you have a choice)
:)

Theresa said...

Hi, I've only just started reading your blog but wanted to reassure you. I had the WORST morning sickness (don't know why they call it that when it lasts all day and night) with my second. I was in and out of hospital being rehydrated and I promise you it was the most awful, horrendous feeling in the world. You're no creampuff, severe nausea is hell and really isn't comparable to any other aspect of pregnancy!

It will end and I have everything crossed for you it will be sooner rather than later.

Val said...

had I known that THIS would be what you would blog about, i wouldn't have asked!!!
Just kiddin'!

It's your blog and you can whine anytime and the level of complaining is NOT directly proportional to the level of feeling so very grateful for being able to carry your child...

You ARE doing great and venting will help! ;) (at least emotionally!)

greg said...

That's what blogs are for - whine away!